Going to do an incredibly unofficial 0-to-60 time in the shoebox

Kinja'd!!! "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
07/09/2017 at 17:10 • Filed to: I'm blue aba di aba die

Kinja'd!!!2 Kinja'd!!! 40
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You may now assault my with your predictions. Takin’ all bets! Who ya got?!? Winner gets a knuckle sammich. Remember: this thing is slower than your local DMV on a Tuesday afternoon.


DISCUSSION (40)


Kinja'd!!! mazda616 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:10

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I say 13 seconds even.


Kinja'd!!! jasmits > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:12

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Don’t forget your calendar 


Kinja'd!!! Maxima Speed > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:13

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I don’t think it will be smart car slow so I’m gonna say, 14.65.


Kinja'd!!! Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > jasmits
07/09/2017 at 17:13

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JASMITS SELECTS ONE FORTNIGHT


Kinja'd!!! Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:14

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16-21 seconds


Kinja'd!!! Seat Safety Switch > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:14

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20 seconds flat.


Kinja'd!!! AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:15

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It’s sorta light though right..? 12 seconds.


Kinja'd!!! slipperysallylikespenguins > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:15

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Serious guess is 17.6 seconds.


Kinja'd!!! OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:16

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12 seconds is my guess IF it can get to 60. Can it?


Kinja'd!!! wafflesnfalafel > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:17

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12.5 w/o doggo, 12.9 with doggo.


Kinja'd!!! Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
07/09/2017 at 17:17

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60, yes

75, still no


Kinja'd!!! RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:17

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0-60? I’m going to guess.....14 seconds!


Kinja'd!!! Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:21

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16.7


Kinja'd!!! PS9 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:21

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If you think this is how you’re going to get your wife on board with an AWD LS1 swap, you’re about to be sorely mistaken.


Kinja'd!!! BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:26

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18 seconds

Please substitute the knuckle sammich with a Cuban sammich


Kinja'd!!! Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:29

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24 hours


Kinja'd!!! fintail > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:29

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Sundial.

The fintail can pull it off in about 11.5-12, I think - I will guess 16 for this.


Kinja'd!!! XJDano > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:35

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This was the metro time taken with the torque app. So I’ll say 24.7

it is an automatic correct?


Kinja'd!!! Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:42

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I feel I’m probably overestimating it, but I’m going with 16 seconds.


Kinja'd!!! HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 17:46

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14.3 seconds


Kinja'd!!! Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > XJDano
07/09/2017 at 17:52

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5-speed


Kinja'd!!! MM54 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 18:16

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My guess would be a 27 second quarter mile at 65mph, so I’ll go with... about 20 seconds to 60?


Kinja'd!!! TheHondaBro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 18:41

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Don’t thrash it too hard. If I ever buy that thing off you I don’t want it smelling like butter and lobster sauce.


Kinja'd!!! HammerheadFistpunch > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 19:06

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14.6


Kinja'd!!! I have another burner, try to guess it! > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 19:07

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1) You fixed it? Yay!!!

2) 17 seconds. And can I get a side of fries if I win?


Kinja'd!!! promoted by the color red > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 19:16

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10.5 seconds if you cheat and use 4-lo.


Kinja'd!!! Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 20:23

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18, assuming you didn’t have a big lunch and have regular bowel movements


Kinja'd!!! Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 21:37

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0-60, when dreams come true.


Kinja'd!!! Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
07/09/2017 at 21:38

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I did a preliminary test earlier... the results were shocking

TO BE CONTINUED


Kinja'd!!! Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 21:40

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I’ve got a lot of seat time in this car, and I know the excitement of speeding in a 35 zone.


Kinja'd!!! Kiltedpadre > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 22:22

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While I want to imply that the time will be slow enough to need to account for tectonic drift, I’ll give a real guess of just under 16 seconds.


Kinja'd!!! The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/09/2017 at 23:37

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A 5spd, such luxury.


Kinja'd!!! The Snowman > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/10/2017 at 00:10

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16.7


Kinja'd!!! shop-teacher > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/10/2017 at 00:48

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21 seconds.


Kinja'd!!! RPM esq. > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
07/10/2017 at 00:56

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That seems optimistic.


Kinja'd!!! RPM esq. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/10/2017 at 01:01

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I bet 17.5 seconds if you run it up to redline for maximum powerrrrr, and like 20 if you shift like a normal human on an onramp.


Kinja'd!!! Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > RPM esq.
07/10/2017 at 01:07

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I don’t think it’s capable of redlining. I’ve tried.


Kinja'd!!! RPM esq. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
07/10/2017 at 01:51

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Well, I don’t really know anything about this engine so maybe revving it that high wouldn’t help anyway...I guess I’ll stand by my guesstimate and/or range.


Kinja'd!!! Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > RPM esq.
07/10/2017 at 01:53

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It’s a SOHC 8-valve engine that made 63 HP.


Kinja'd!!! OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > RPM esq.
07/10/2017 at 08:20

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I regretted my answer immediately but will stick by it.